cuba make some steps while waiting for Fabio to get me. Friday night. What do we do? What do we do? I look out the kitchen window and I smoke a cigarette. I put too little rum and coke. Open the refrigerator and take cocaine. I finished my stock of Gigetto. I hope Fabio will have a little '. I'm too nervous. I'm too myself. I throw down the Cuba as quickly as possible, the time to finish the cigarette.
I can not read a book for weeks. Every story, long or short. I prefer poetry. I can not stand the poems. I need a few sentences. Sentences in which I identify with. I was so close to you that I am cold near the others. Desperately Seeking poems. Do not make me feel alone. You are friend Paul, I am a friend Edward, how come I always know Eugene?
We sit on the sofas. Ivan arrives. He sits next to us. I order a Cuba. Ivan is a nice guy. Some say it's gay, there are suspicions that never end despite all the possibilities. To me it is nice because it's quiet. We are not friends, not as it is with Fabio. We have nothing to say. Who do I have something to say? They are all musicians. They talk about music and women, if women are talking about music.
Half an hour later, the triangle is almost full. I've already finished my cuba. Ordered another. Fabio gives me a nod and we go out in parking. We climb into the car. He pulls out a bag full of Mary. The smell filled the cabin. I'm already excited. I pull out the maps and begin to roll. Fabio prepares the filter. Double them.
I keep it in your lungs as possible. We are two real toxic. A shot by one, division of property. We hate both those who smoke in the company and held the barrel for hours. It is more than three shots. Okay, maybe Maria and her then why not if you smoke at home? By now you're here with us and offer: divide equally.
I feel my legs and arms relaxed. You have to go. Remain locked a few seconds.
Paola and her friends. Do not know them all. There is Silvia, her older sister. Like Fabio. E 'along with a Frenchman, one of Lyon, but if it makes the headphones. I know Robert is the third year of mathematics. So that makes the argument in group theory, or so I said Fabio. E 'dyed blonde, it seems a goose, but it should be. Maybe there is. Next to her but there is Julia. I only know his name, who plays the cello, her hair blacks, half-length back. He smokes one cigarette after another and does not seem to care about anyone.
'm sitting there on the couch. Sip another Cuba. Fabio, I'm just returned. Si starà avvicinando a Silvia. Peccato che si vede che ha fumato. Si comporta da coglione. Ha gli occhi a palla e si mangia le parole. Non so perché si deve sempre spaccare. Per lui fumare è andare fuori di testa. Io la uso solo come calmante. Sono lucido, anche se i pensieri si rincorrono nella mia mente e non so cosa uscirà appena aprirò bocca.
Guardo Giulia ostinatamente, mai una volta che guardi verso di me. Non c’è pericolo che i nostri occhi s’incrocino. Devo fare qualcosa. Ha il gomito appoggiato sul fianco. La sigaretta si sta consumando mentre parla con non so chi. Ad un tratto capisco che devo agire. Mi alzo e mi siedo tra lei e Roberta. Non so come ma escono parole sensate. Le chiedo della tesina che sta writing. Who is the speaker? But by Serbenti is not bad, but the following assistance, Califano. It 'been my practice to the course of geometry. He dressed to do shit. The story that we thought at the time of the morning veneer glue, throw some clothes on the bed and then you roll. Only thus could be combined in that way.
Roberta Use as a medium. I speak with her so I feel Giulia. He pretends not to listen, but I know he feels. He is not talking to anybody and we are too close. After a few minutes
Roberta rises. I get up too, because there is no apparent reason to sit there. I can not. I can not say anything. I can not remain silent forever. What the hell do I drank three to Cuba, because I smoked in that car in the parking lot?
I whirled around.
- Your birthday is next Saturday? The five like Fabio?
- Yes
correct answer. You can not say anything else? I need feedback. Do not head the idea that you care.
- You may organize the party together?
- I do not like celebrating his birthday.
Christ's sake do not like me too.
- Be 'from it would be nice. Fabio has a huge house, will turn out a good party.
- I do not know, I will think.
- You should do it. Fabio will be happy. It is not the guy who gets problems.
- Ok, I do not know, you could also do.
A conversation really poor. It might not be his night, or at least I hope so. But a new opportunity arises. At least I know I'll see her soon. Back to my place and chatted a bit 'with Beppe. It speaks of his new electric guitar. I could talk about guitars for hours now, I could talk about any cosa: scaldabagni, ateismo, origami, dell’inversione del campo magnetico terreste. Non m’importa. Voglio solo parlare e basta.
Dopo un po’ Paola e le amiche se ne vanno. Vedo Giulia uscire. Non ci salutiamo neanche. Forse sabato prossimo la rivedrò.
Il silenzio quieterà la tempesta darà saggezza al fogliame profondo.
Oramai la serata è finita. Non mi resta altro che aspettare. Non ho scelta. Ma lei mi piace. Non si può spiegare. C’erano un sacco di ragazze carine stasera. Solo lei mi interessava. Perché è strana. Particolare. E’ questo che mi colpisce sempre, non l’aspetto physical. It could be good or bad. Now I can not judge. But I see a world. Anything non-trivial. And that makes me mad. This makes it desirable to my eyes.
Back and Fabio driving sucks. Brake and accelerator abruptly. It takes curves to fuck. I feel nauseous. At a traffic light that babbles like Silvia. I knew that already. He tells me that sends out messages every now and she says, but never receives a message of its own. He never called. The nausea did not pass me. He knows that is not a good sign. Christ holy damn feedback! Okay you talked about tonight, but she is looking for you? No, and why? I would not say these platitudes. She knows but if he hides them. I know he likes it seriously. But from outside I understand that she is not interested. I would like to do something. I would like to talk to her, tell him to give him a chance. But you can not do. The nausea increases.
off the car and I see him leave. The air bites and beats me in the head with a hammer. I do not make time to get to the door. Vomiting in the border near the entrance.
